Wednesday, 31 December 2014

Ujian Allah untuk hamba-Nya

Assalamualaikum readers.
Alhamdulillah I still got time and opportunity to post up something in this last day of 2014.
On December 30th ,nearly 2 days ago.. I received a very heartbreaking news.
It's 2 a.m and I'm still up to study for finals. my phone's battery nearly died out just before I heard bout the news. luckily, I 'save' it from dying out and charged the phone.
Later, I notice that I'd received whatsapp messages. 
Slide down the screenlock, open whatsapp, messages from family's group.
Abah said "Insya Allah nok balik klate bapa mertua meninggal dunia baru sekejap tadi"
I stared at the wall. BLANK. I lost words. 
Took my phone out from my room, and sat on the sofa in living room. My roommate gone to sleep early that night.
One by one, the memory of my grandfather came in mind.
I can't stop my tears. they really fall down. Like it will never stop.
I tried to hold on. But I can't. The memory still came. I can't chase them away.
Because it's the sweetest memory I'd had with my grandfather. 
The last time I met him, the last time I kiss his hand, the last time I met his eyes.
was in Aidilfitr 2014. and I cried even more.
Few weeks before my study week start, I remember that I heard the news about my grandfather who was sick. My parents balik kampung to visit him, I really don't have holidays. I still remember about telling my roommate about my sick grandfather. And about how badly I want to fly to Kelantan to visit him. I remember telling my roommate about that. But I was too late. Too late to meet him and comfort him. I remember my mother called me and said that my grandfather was asking for me. That's making me badly want to meet him.
Then I was thinking. 'Allah, why You won't let me meet him for the last time'
And I was later taken aback, 'I shouldn't say that! O' Allah forgive me, astaghfirullah'
Later, more memories of him came..
Every time my family arrived at his house during Ramadhan and Aidilfitr, he will surely climb the coconut tree, and pick up coconuts. Because it was our favourite.
And I remember about him putting on medicine, antiseptic, minyak gamat, and all when I was hurt badly from motorcycle accident. I was in form 2 back then.
Later I remember the moments where we'll throw out mercun during malam raya and how my grandmother will start nags at us.
And during every Ramadhan, when we go shopping for our baju raya, my mother and I will feel very excited to buy baju raya for my grandparents too. We'll buy them with matched colour. Yes. And my mother really can't wait to bring them out of the luggage once we arrived his house. It's the first thing she would do. But it'll be no more.
The more I cried, the deeper the memories come hit me. One by one.
Oh, I thought. This is the feeling. My heart aches. A lot. It feels like bullets had hit it. Hard.
This is the feeling when you lost someone you really love.
Later that night, I text my father. 
Only a word. "Abah.."
And my father replied, "Kakak sabar deh.."
"Abah kat mano ni?" "Abah kat KLIA doh" "Nok balik jugok.."
I know it's impossible. But I still ask to follow them fly back. I want to be by my grandfather's side for the very last time. I want to see his face. I want to kiss his forehead. I want. For the very last time.
But I can't. Allah..It's impossible cause I got an exam scheduled on 31st December.
That night, I cried my heart out until my tears stop and I can't really open my eyes. No, it didn't really stop. It didn't come out anymore. Because it's dried. Dried as my heart.
I can't sleep that night. Subh came, and I cried again. During Yaseen recitation, the tears came again. And I've been carried away with sadness until I fall asleep.
Thanks to my roommate, Atiqah for the very comforting notes she left before she heads for her exam.
And thanks to everyone. Do recite Al Fatihah for him. And for our families. Either they are still alive or not. Also, for the flood victims in Kelantan, Terengganu, Pahang. The families of MH 370, MH17, and QZ8501. Yes, challenges and difficulties makes us stronger. And it's time to remember what Allah had said in Quran for challenges that He gave us in Surah Al-Ankabut,verse 2 and Surah Al-Anbiya, verse 35. Qullu nafsin zaaiqatul maut. Setiap yang bernyawa akan merasai mati.
Allah, tempatkanlah tok che di kalangan orang yang beriman. Ameen Ya Rabbal 'Alamin. And I can't wait for my holiday, I want to hug my parents, my grandma, and to visit arwah tok che. Allahu..


Wednesday, 29 October 2014

life in KMPh_part III

Assalamualaikum readers :) yup, second post of the year..
today, I wanna finish all about my matriculation life, coz this blog is lifeless with old stories. 
Really, I can’t wait for UPM stories :D
Hmm, what topic is next? Yeah, lecturers.

Lecturers here are more generous than u can imagine. Serious. You may have 2 different lecturers for each subject. Why? One who teach u in lecture, and one who teach u in tutorial. One thing that I 
need to highlight here is to keep asking them. You are MOST WELCOME to meet them at their
 cubicles. You may have sooo much gaps between classes. I tell u, u really don’t wanna spend those
 gaps to sleep. Please, please, please, do meet them, ask whatever u don’t get in class and ask them 
for MORE sets of questions. U may get the question which happens to be in ur quizzes or exams! They are also very kind, that some of them might ask u to hang out together (if they are single) :D u may get scared for the first time, but trust me, they have no appetite to eat u.. Haha ;)

Haa, library is one of the best part of KMPh. Why?? Bcos they got all what u need. First, of course
 the books la..there are wide ranges of international books there. As u know, matrics life takes up 
30% of university’s life. So, don’t be surprised that u may have to get through 3-4 inch books 
(international one,obviously!). Books from Campbell, Solomon, Shelly Cashman, Roger Freedman n all. All u need are there. But the other side of the ‘best part’ of library is the air conditioning (the best in KMPh) , the WiFi (of course the fastest in KMPh) and also the SPACE..haha..see, I used capitals  for space,it means u got space for urself to sleep in comfort....mihmihmih > < seriously if u want to  know.

Yeah, cafe would be a BIG problem if u are picky. Instead of being picky, I think u should be more
 CAREFUL n CAUTIOUS on what u eat. Just a reminder, not everyone got lucky days in their life, 
once in a while, u might found some cockroaches or young lizards in ur food. But, don’t being too 
prejudice. It’s just SOME of them. But, it didn’t always happen. Serious. The last time I was there, 
KMPh got 4 cafes overall. Which is, cafe A, cafe B, cafe C, and admin cafe. The most heavenly cafe was all of them except cafe C. U go there, n u’ll know why :D 

Generally, what I heard is that all matriculation colleges in Malaysia require u to wear ONLY formal attire to class. As examples, baju kurung, kebaya, punjabi, dhoti, baju melayu, shirts, slacks, closed 
black shoes n NO JEANS. Don’t ever miss out ur matric card too. It is important more than anything.

Haaaa, i know u are waiting for this topic, rite? I know, I know. The outing rules differ for each
 matriculation college tho. But for KMPh, u need to wear PROPER attire. If not, u’ll get chased to
 change by GIVA (the most handsome guard there, I tell u) :D proper here means, NO TIGHT
 PANTS, OR SHIRTS, COLLARED SHIRTS for boys, NO SHORTS  (even if u’re non-muslim)
addition for ALL girls, ur shirts must cover ur butt., so it should be longggg. Like seriously, they’ll
 inspect u like a police. But, it’s for ur good tho. Slippers are also prohibited, just FORMAL SHOES, or strapped SANDALS. NO SPORT OUTFITS. It seems hard rite? Then, for KMPh students, u’ll 
have ONLY 3 destinations to go which is BUKIT GAMBANG WATERPARK, BANDAR 
KUANTAN n TELUK CEMPEDAK. There, got rapid kuantan bus lo. So, no need to worry ‘bout transportation. U can only leisure during WEEKENDS , as earlier as 5 a.m till 7 p.m. If got no college
 programs laa..i think that’s all ‘bout outing.

I think that’s all for now. Don’t hesitate to contact me if u have any questions to ask ‘bout KMPh. As an alumni, I’m more than ready to help :)


Saturday, 27 September 2014

Life in KMPh_part II

wow!now I've done something across the limit.. I left this blog for more than a year which I last posted something in last June and we're already in September in 2014.Holla!!It's my first entry for this year and I hope it won't be the last.
My very last post was about a whole week I spent on Matriculation program which is just the orientation week.and I won't let the last entry left alone with the 'PART 1' thing.and guess what?I'm gonna continue with the next part (tengok la larat ke tak empunya blog ni) and I really hope that it'll help those who were anxious about how was my life I spent for a year there..and you'll be guided along by topics :D enjoy!

So,dah terang lagi nyata aku akan perjelaskan tentang kuliah,kelas,dan para pensyarah : )
Sebelum menjejakkan kaki ke alam Matrik ni,ada la suara2 jahat berbisik-bisik kat telinga aku dan parents aku..hmm,contohnya :

[Kes 1]
Jiran 1 : Betul ke kakak nak pergi matrik ni..susah tahu! (jiran aku cakap macam bagi PM's speech)
Aku :    Hmm..rasanya confirm lah,dah prepare semua dah (aku yang berfikiran positif)
Jiran 1 : Anak makcik ni dulu, dapat tawaran matrik jugak..tapi dia pergi ambil diploma sebab
             susah..orang yang betul2 pandai je boleh tahan belajar kat matrik ni..pecah kepala nanti.
Aku :    senyum je..walaupun hati dah gusar namun sebenarnya matrik nilah jawapan Istikharah                        aku..aku percaya takdir Allah itu lebih baik.

[Kes 2]
Pekerja Office : Akak nak hantar anak pergi matrik?
Mama aku :       Haah..Inshaa Allah..
Pekerja Office : Kenapa tak ambik diploma je?Sijil matrik tak laku..kalau ada diploma boleh kerja.
Mama aku :       Tak tahu lah..anak saya nak pergi matrik,ikut je lah dia..dia yang nak belajar (sedih                                mama aku tau)

[Kes 3]
Jiran 2 : Ishh...tak payah lah pergi matrik..anak saya pergi matrik kat Gambang jugak.susah tahu nak                 sambung nanti..
Mama : Yeke..(mulalah tu,dah terpengaruh dengan cakap orang)
Jiran 2 : Iye..(si penghasut) dia nak belajar susah! stress sgt katanya..nak dpt pointer tinggi lagi                         susah..anak saya exam dapat pointer 2.00 lebih je..nak maintain susah,kalau rendah,boleh                     kena tendang.
Mama : La..yeke..takut jugak nak hantar ke sana..boleh buat ke tak, tak tahulahh..(mama mula                           meragui keupayaan aku)
Jiran 2 : Anak saya dah mintak UPU, tak dapat pon course yang dia pilih..dapat course yang                            tahapehape, course lelong je..
Mama : Oooooooooo (panjang ooo nye..menandakan mama dah takut yang amat)

[Kes 4]
Kes ni paling kritikal..because it's a family discussion, between me and Mama,seriously?
Mama : Kakak,boleh ke gi blaja kat matrik tu?
Aku :    Kenapa?
Mama : Semua orang cakap susah..
Aku :    Belajar ni mana ade senang ma..semua susah..(cakap bunyi macam mak2)
Mama : Kakak yakin ke boleh?nanti kena tendang macam mana?kena guna result SPM balik untuk                  mintak U..
Aku :    Boleh..Inshaa Allah..Yakin Boleh!! (aku laung sampai bergema 1 rumah,okay,hiperbola jap)
Mama : Ishh..kau biar betul kak,tak takut ke.?stress la belajar kat matrik,dah lah setahun je..banyak                  benda kena catch up nanti..Kalau orang macam Laili tu boleh la,belajar siang malam..                         (fyi,Laili tu budak top scorer kat sekolah aku..kalau korang baca entry pasal result SPM                        aku,korang akan tau..tunggu ape lagi??cari lah entry tu balik.hehe kejam tahap ape aku ni)
Aku :    Aku mampu diam sahaja..Bila orang lain tak yakin dengan kebolehan aku, aku boleh terima                lagi..but tell me, who won't be frustrated when your own mum didn't even put hope on you                  and the worst part is when she even compares me to my old schoolmate..I know that she's                    just being concern, but it's wayyy too much.fortunately I can still hold my tears :'(

Habis part tak yakin semua..tu semua aku dah tinggal di rumah.Yang aku bawa ke matrik masa tu ialah kepercayaan dan keyakinan terhadap diri sendiri dan yang paling utama, Allah SWT.Okay,sekarang dah tiba masanya to burst out the details about how I learn in Matriculation program and how was the system's being managed.tapi kena ingat, aku ni batch 13/14, if this post is found in 10 years ahead..believe me,korang akan cakap aku ni penipu..hihi..sebab mestilah sistem pengajaran n pembelajaran kat Matrik dah tukar..

Lecture : I thought that SPM leavers would definitely feel excited to learn in this new way which is in environment of having lecture (cara aku cakap macam having lunch sesedap rasa pulak) hihi..Of course lahh..korang ni, masa sekolah mana ade dewan kuliah dok?cakap mengenai kuliah,di KMPh (Kolej Matrikulasi Pahang) ada 2 jenis dewan kuliah..pertama, DKK which stands for Dewan Kuliah Kecil yang boleh menempatkan lebih kurang 130 students sekaligus.dekat KMPh ni, ada 4 buah DKK tau!kedua, kita ada DKB iaitu Dewan Kuliah Besor..hihi..nama pon Dewan Kuliah Besor, mestilah boleh tampung lebih ramai student kan?mengikut anggaran,DKB mungkin boleh muatkan lebih kurang 220 pelajar dalam satu2 masa..DKB hanya ada 2 buah yee..okay, meh nak bagitahu dewan mana lagi best..actually, DKK lahh yang paling best kalau ada lecture..kenapa? satu, sebab dia kecik, air conditioning dia lagi best..sejuk kau!sampai menggigil (betuuulll ,ini bukan cerita tipu) dua,sebab tak ramai org sangat,mungkin lebih focus (kott la) ketiga, sebab seatnya straight sahaja..takde 2 bahagian macam, lecturers boleh nampak straight muka korang, tidur ke,makan ke,main phone ke,buat kerja lain ke..(tolonglahh jangan buat semua kemungkaran tu dalam dewan kuliah ye)but usually matric's lecturers wouldn't mind if you're having some snacks while they're teaching..Important!!aku dah underline snacks tu,kalau tak nampak tak tahu lah..itu maknanya, makan boleh, tapi setakat makan kacang ke,roti ke..takpelah..jangan korang gi hampar daun pisang nasi lemak atas meja kuliah pulak,kena baling la kau dengan handbag lecturers tu nanti :D so then, kalau kat DKK ni,macam group kuliah aku dulu, lelaki semua duduk bahagian bawah..perempuan kat atas (so,bolehlerr korang usha crush tgh buat ape, kalau ade la..hihik..tapi crush aku bukan sama kuliah dengan aku pon,makanya, lebih focus lah aku dlm kuliah..hiihi.suka tipu kan) but, kalau dekat DKB,biasanya lecturer suruh asingkan sebelah kawasan lelaki,sebelah lagi kawasan perempuan..tapi, part yang aku benci bila ade je jembalang berlainan jantina gedik2 duduk kat lady's territory.. sebab nak duduk sebelah mate dia..uuuiihhh..naik geli bulu mata iollss..then kalau kat DKB lagi ramai orang, lagilah malu korang nak keluar dari dewan sebab nak terkucil..mesti sorotan mata tak dilepaskan dekat korang..walaupun itu fitrah manusia nak melepaskan hajat, but aku tetap malu tau!dekat DKK, takde org nk toleh kepala 360 darjah sebab nak tgk korang keluar dewan sambil terkepit-kepit..haha,sebab semua focus,lecturer ade depan,habis tentang dewan mana lagi best, tapi tak kisahlah asalkan korang dengar betul2 apa yg lecturer dlm kuliah tu ajar,kan?
jadi,ermmm apa lagi korang kena tau?ha!masa kuliah..okay,masa kuliah ni dah ditetapkan oleh pihak kolej..jadual semua dah disediakan mengikut praktikum masing-masing..praktikum tu apa?praktikum tu sebenarnya kelas korang..dan, masa untuk setiap kuliah pada satu-satu masa ialah 1 jam sahaja..jangan la pening kepala kena dengar kuliah berjam-jam..dalam jadual korang tu akan digilir-gilirkan bila masa nak kuliah,tutorial,atau lab..haaa,masa free pon ade tau kadang2 dalam jadual korang tu..rasanya habis part lectures kot..don't worry, I'll continue with another part in the next entry.walla!!

So long,